ode to the fibroids.

first, can I just say that since I was diagnosed, I feel like: life, interrupted. There was my life before the diagnosis, then after - both of whom have little to do with one another.

WARNING: This blog is not for the faint of heart. It will be graphic. It may be gross. Read at your own risk.

Anyway, I'm a week out from the surgery. I feel pregnant - real pregnant. About 6-8 months pregnant. For those of you who have never been so blessed, this is the part of the pregnancy where all the good stuff happens - bloating, constipation, loss of bladder control, weakness, etc. I wake up at least 2X per night, having to pee, 'cause I can't hold it. My tummy (stomach, uterus, bladder - it's all 1 big blob now) feels like it literally weighs about 15 lbs heavier than before the surgery. I'm also very bloated - it looks like I gained 10 lbs. It hurts sometimes to hold my stomach in. I have to move my bowels every morning like clockwork, and its painful - my stomach hurts, and my anus hurts. Also, I bleed everytime I have a bowel movement - so basically every morning. I bleed from my vagina and my anus. This in excess of the bleeding from the surgery. Actually, now that I think of it, I bleed more when my bladder is full as well.

So, I'm still a little scared. I should've asked more questions about recovery (if that's what this is). I have a strong suspicion that this is the beginning of a bumpy road.